Consider, what would it look like to fully back yourself?

What would it look like to finally give yourself permission to be ALL of who you really are, unapologetically?

I find consistently that the areas where we feel frustrated, are energetically spinning thinking about the same situation over and over again…are the ones where we’re editing ourselves down, holding ourselves back.

Think about it for a moment, think about an area in your life that has been bothering you, frustrating you, that little niggle that just keeps feeling a little off.

Maybe you’re overthinking something, trying to figure out the “right” way to move forward, but actually the answer and clear next steps to take are obvious once you ask the right questions.

What would it look like to now be ALL of who I really am in this situation?

What would it look like to fully back myself here?

And if I removed emotion, what’s the next aligned action I know it’s time to take?

You might be having ah ha’s and breakthroughs just thinking about these questions. But, to make this even more powerful I highly recommend writing these down and allowing your full answers to come through.

Don’t try to figure these out with your mind, take a deep breath and let your highest state, your heart and soul answer instead.

And these questions don’t have to just be used in areas where you’re feeling stuck and need a breakthrough. 

They work just as well anytime that you’re craving clarity and wanting to more fully expand into all of who you know you really are.

What would it look like to now be ALL of who I really am?

What would it look like to fully back myself?

And if I removed emotion, what’s the next aligned action I know it’s time to take?

These questions guide me regularly. My past patterns have often been getting stuck in people pleasing, perfectionism and needing to be liked which led me down a path of having to be everything to everyone and being absolutely terrible at drawing clear boundaries and just saying no.

I was so afraid in the beginning of my coaching business that if I basically wasn’t on call for every client all the time making sure they got the results they wanted that I wouldn’t be liked, I’d feel like a failure and my whole business would collapse.

It’s this fear that I know holds back so many brilliant women. We’re so afraid that if we actually just show up as all of who we really are that we won’t be liked.

And this fear of not being liked goes deep for generations past. There was a time, not that long ago, where being liked actually kept us safe and alive because the most dangerous thing for a woman at that time would be being banished from a community and basically left for dead.

This fear of not being liked lies deep in our systems from generations past. This doesn’t mean that you have to just accept it, but it does mean you can be kind to yourself for having it in the first place.

But, what I know to be true is that every time I self deny, every time I make others a priority over my own soul work, purpose and destiny is when I start to feel frustrated, angry and resentful. This resentment isn’t really about the person overstepping boundaries or even the situation — the resentment is directly related to abandoning myself.

Our greatest pain comes from self abandonment.

So when I ask you what it would look like to now be ALL of you and to back yourself fully, I’m asking you to do something that is one of our greatest opportunities as women at this time in history…to no longer self abandon.

There’s a situation in my business right now where I either get to fully back myself and make my boundaries clear or I get to self abandon.

There’s some part of me that slips into “oh it’s not that big of a deal, just do what they want”. A part that equates being liked to survival.

I honor this part of me, I understand where this fear comes from and also, no.

No, I will not self abandon to make someone else happy, more comfortable, or whatever they’re needing from the situation because really, it’s none of my business. It’s their’s.

My business is me, my work, my energy, being all of me and backing myself fully.

Because the last thing this world needs is one more woman putting everyone else above her purpose, her soul work and her destiny.

You must be ALL of you in order to be of service and have the massive impact you’re meant to have on this planet. And if it makes others uncomfortable, whatever — do not self abandon to make someone else more at ease.

So let me ask you one more time…

What would it look like to now be ALL of who I really am?

What would it look like to fully back myself?

And if I removed emotion, what’s the next aligned action I know it’s time to take?

Then go live it.

P.S. Is it about time that you had a mentor who can hold the space for the powerful woman you really are?

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Back Yourself and Stop Self Abandoning For Good

About Jess


Hey Rockstar! I'm Jessica Caver Lindholm, visionary, self-made millionaire and intuitive entrepreneur and I'm here to help you remember who you are and become all of it, now. Let's get started.



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