Getting Clarity may seem like a total waste of time.
When you’re trying to take on something new in your life, maybe it’s a job change, a move, even a new exercise program, the best action seems like it should be to just get going. Just get started.
However, without the clarity to know exactly what you want to accomplish, exactly what you want the end result to look like, it’s not uncommon to end up spinning your wheels. Working hard and getting very little forward motion. And it’s very easy to get stuck in this cycle for days, months, even years.
You start to feel a little pressure, a little dis-ease in your life. It’s usually minor at first, can be blamed on a multitude of other things. Maybe it’s the weather, maybe you just had a bad fight with a partner or co-worker. But as time goes on, this feeling that something just isn’t right begins to build. You begin to realize that the situation you’ve probably worked so hard to get yourself into, is not bringing you satisfaction, is not what you’d thought it’d be or even where you’d be.
This is the exact reason that Clarity is so vital to a fulfilling life. If you don’t have a map, you will end up off course.
I’ve been there. I worked hard for years, through my education, to acquire certain work positions, even to plan moves across the country. I was so high on the idea of taking action, on the feeling of momentum, that I never truly got clarity. I get it, the last thing you want to do as you strive towards a new goal is to sit down, get quiet, and see if it really feels right. But this is exactly what needs to happen.
After you get clarity, you may realize you’re right on, this is exactly where you want to go in life and then plow forward. Or you might realize you’re moving forward with this change for a reason completely unrelated and unsolvable by this action.
There is guidance readily available to us our entire lives if we’ll do a couple things.
Here are the 3 Steps to Gain Clarity that I use in my own life:
1. Give yourself the space and quiet to check in and listen to your gut feelings.
If we stay crazy busy all the time, always taking action, there’s no chance for our intuition to have a say. Even if it were yelling at the top of it’s lungs we would plow forward with what we’ve started. We don’t want to be a quitter right? We don’t want to give up.
Make a commitment to yourself to take a few minutes, to take a few deep breaths, and just let the thoughts move through your mind without trying to control or attach to any of them. What you need more then anything when looking to create change or start something new in your life is to get quiet for a moment and feel out this choice. Does it feel right? Is it bringing you closer or further away from how you want to feel and where you want to go?
2. Get clear on what you really want without editing it.
We are the masters of wanting something and then feeling bad about it. Why? Because we have been trained to do this. Whether by society, media, family, it doesn’t matter. Take a moment and think about some of the things you want in your life. Are there any voices in the back of your mind telling you why you shouldn’t want these? Making you feel guilty? “You know you really should be grateful for what you have already.” You have your desires for a reason. They aren’t some random inkling that was put there to cause you pain and a sense of lack. What each person wants in life is completely unique and just as important to them as the next person.
Maybe you want to have a fit body and a healthy relationship with yourself. That’s great! Self love and health are an important part of your life and a large provider of overall happiness. But in the back of your mind you might hear something like “wanting a fit body is shallow, you’re being superficial.” And if you listen to that voice then it becomes the driver of your life and you’ll go wherever it wants you to.
An example of this is my recent shifts around money. There’s a certain amount of money that I want to earn a month, and my first thought was shame and guilt around this number. “It’s much higher then what you’ve earned in the past, you should be satisfied with what you have, there’s people around the world who are just trying to get by, why do you deserve it?” It was time to reset my lack mentality, because here’s the truth of the matter: There’s more than enough money in the world and my reasons for earning this sum are purely positive and from a place of love.
– I want to use this money to continue building my business, helping others and doing my soul’s work.
– I want to use this money to be generous towards my family, friends, and even random acts of kindness to strangers.
– I want to use this money to take care of myself and my family, to buy the healthiest foods, best health care, safe vehicles, and a comfortable home.
– And I want to use this money to travel the world with my husband, to continue to strengthen our relationship, to explore and learn, and to teach classes on success and lifestyle to others.
I have tapped into what’s important to me. I’m honoring myself. And yes I deserve what I desire, and so do you.
3. Honor yourself.
Seriously. We’re given our gut feelings, intuition, desires, and more for a reason. They’re loud at first in our minds but slowly we start to shove them deep down somewhere. We discredit them, tell ourselves we’re being ridiculous, and follow through with the ‘shoulds’. Where has this gotten you? Is it working?
The more you listen to that inner guide of yours (whatever you want to call it, and yes we all have one), the louder he or she will be. Can’t hear yours? There’s a good chance you’ve been silencing it for awhile. Your intuition is still there. It’s like a muscle that atrophies when we don’t use it and it might be time to stretch it back out.
Once you take the time now and then to get quiet, respect your desires, and start regularly honoring your inner guide, miraculous things will start to happen in your life. You will feel more joy. You will wake up with excitement knowing that you create your own life and that you have control over the direction you’re going each day.
Also, as important as anything, remember that you have a choice! You’re not just a boat floating around in the sea IF you choose not to be. Otherwise life will throw you around from day to day, situation to situation. You have a sail. And what’s more, the ocean wants to help you get where you’re going. But you have to tell it. You don’t have to write the map, you just need to unfold it and really take a moment to look at it.
Is this the destination you’re wanting to travel to?
If not, open another map and adjust your sails.